Before I start writing I want to describe situation around me, I am peeling off first layer, so the situation can be like this, exams are over, and we are relaxed. Its something little deeper now let's peel off another layer, then its me, I am writing about situation around me, and I recalled a phrase, someone said, “group creativity” at that time I controlled myself but not this time, I can't, so I want to laugh, ha ha ha I can't imagine of something like group creativity, OK leave this for now! Today I am here to talk on very unusual topic for me, a very common issue for many, and it may look like I am wasting time by writing on this topic, the relationships. Many time I think about it! Looking all around people talk a lot about it. I thought about an intimate relationship, but truly I have some virtual relationships and when I think about them I find that they are very much real than these relationships people are talking about all the time. I have made a definition of relationship that its all about freedom. Few incidents happened with me, which have changed me completely now I am very much normal human being. I strongly believe that it is very difficult to be normal. We always try to be abnormal! So we were talking about relationships and I told that I have few virtual affairs! Here I want to tell that what I understand by love! I may not be the right person to describe this! But I can explain it the my way before I start I want to convince you that whatever I am writing is nothing we say 'fundas' and I am here to what exactly I feel like!
I am still thinking about it, so in the mean time I would like to write down what I think love is not, while I was writing somebody came in my room, so I had to stop writing. So now I may not be able to continue from where I was. So I am writing about something else. I was thinking about relationships and I find that I am very poor in this field, but then I think its my nature and I don' t want to change this now I want to talk about people around me, there are a few very good persons around me, this is what I think! Many times I become restless because of the people around me! But when I try to find the cause I find that its me myself who is making me restless, now again I would like to talk about my virtual affairs! Its useless to talk about when and whom? Rather I would like to talk about why? When I now think about them I find that my virtual affairs are very much virtual, I believe that I have a very unique ability to disguise myself, like people around me never find anything and something and everything just happened, love, heart break, break up! It all happened and simply virtually!
I think I am loosing my track! So i was here to write down about what I think love is all about! I love somebody, this doesn't mean for me that I should care for her! It doesn't mean for me if I do hurt her or it doesn't mean for me if I make her realize that I love her! In fact I try my best to make her feel that I am too bad! So for me making somebody love you is not love at all!
And for this reason I think what people say that I am not social! My mother says that i don't love her! My papa says that i don't care about him, and my virtual girlfriend doesn't even know that i love her! This is me!
And all of them make me feel like that I myself start thinking that I don't love any of them. But that isn't the truth! What I find that scope of love lies in the art of expression. But since everything has become so complicated in me that this is that last thing I imagine I can do! My flow of thoughts has again been broken by somebody!
Purity of heart! This is what Sufism is all about! I read these lines from an interview of Abida Parveen! My love is like this thing! I don't believe in adopting too many things according to need! But regarding this matter I have one suggestion for myself, thats to do something to make others realize my love! This suggestion is right from the heart! Finally I have managed to connect love with heart!
Suddenly while writing this text, I find that there are two more words that should be included in this list, so the list is now love-> heart->fear->courage!
We have get to the point. Really I myself didn't know that the questions I have, have the answers in them already. At the starting of this text, I believed that love is about not expressing but realizing! And now I believe that your love to somebody is a part of your life, as much love you have as many different parts of life you have! To not complicating the things coming to the point, that is now I believe that I have three loves in my life, two of them I got by the grace of god and third is for making me realize that I have this also!
Fear of expression is that until or unless you don't get the answer you can live in your own world of imagination, the world of possibility, the world of uncertainty. Uncertainty is the axis of life!
I want to write a few lines in Hindi, as I think that there is no replacement of these lines in English!
ranjish hi sahi dil hi dukhane ke liye aa,
aa phir se muhhe chhod ke jaane ke liye aa
Mana ki muhaabat ka chhipana hai muhaabat
par chupke se kisi roj,jatane ke liye aa!
while writing I decided to take a short sleep, but eventually it has become one of the longest sleep, I slept at 8:00 pm and wake up at 2:00 am. And I regret of not having dinner! But I have to remain like this! I can't expect anything to eat at this time! Anyways, I want to talk about the sleep! It was nice! And from 8:00 pm to 2:00 am I feel like living in some place, totally unknown. I can talk about dreams but I will not this time! I am to talk about something else. Its a great feeling to have good intension. I never felt like this much good! Thank you god! For the outer world it might not be the best time I am having but internally I know that nothing can be better than this, and I hope it to be remain like this forever!
Earlier tonight, that is before my untimely sleep I was thinking about love! And I slept just after that, when I wake up, again the untimely act, I am feeling great, I don't know what is it? But I am feeling really great!!
I am still thinking about it, so in the mean time I would like to write down what I think love is not, while I was writing somebody came in my room, so I had to stop writing. So now I may not be able to continue from where I was. So I am writing about something else. I was thinking about relationships and I find that I am very poor in this field, but then I think its my nature and I don' t want to change this now I want to talk about people around me, there are a few very good persons around me, this is what I think! Many times I become restless because of the people around me! But when I try to find the cause I find that its me myself who is making me restless, now again I would like to talk about my virtual affairs! Its useless to talk about when and whom? Rather I would like to talk about why? When I now think about them I find that my virtual affairs are very much virtual, I believe that I have a very unique ability to disguise myself, like people around me never find anything and something and everything just happened, love, heart break, break up! It all happened and simply virtually!
I think I am loosing my track! So i was here to write down about what I think love is all about! I love somebody, this doesn't mean for me that I should care for her! It doesn't mean for me if I do hurt her or it doesn't mean for me if I make her realize that I love her! In fact I try my best to make her feel that I am too bad! So for me making somebody love you is not love at all!
And for this reason I think what people say that I am not social! My mother says that i don't love her! My papa says that i don't care about him, and my virtual girlfriend doesn't even know that i love her! This is me!
And all of them make me feel like that I myself start thinking that I don't love any of them. But that isn't the truth! What I find that scope of love lies in the art of expression. But since everything has become so complicated in me that this is that last thing I imagine I can do! My flow of thoughts has again been broken by somebody!
Purity of heart! This is what Sufism is all about! I read these lines from an interview of Abida Parveen! My love is like this thing! I don't believe in adopting too many things according to need! But regarding this matter I have one suggestion for myself, thats to do something to make others realize my love! This suggestion is right from the heart! Finally I have managed to connect love with heart!
Suddenly while writing this text, I find that there are two more words that should be included in this list, so the list is now love-> heart->fear->courage!
We have get to the point. Really I myself didn't know that the questions I have, have the answers in them already. At the starting of this text, I believed that love is about not expressing but realizing! And now I believe that your love to somebody is a part of your life, as much love you have as many different parts of life you have! To not complicating the things coming to the point, that is now I believe that I have three loves in my life, two of them I got by the grace of god and third is for making me realize that I have this also!
Fear of expression is that until or unless you don't get the answer you can live in your own world of imagination, the world of possibility, the world of uncertainty. Uncertainty is the axis of life!
I want to write a few lines in Hindi, as I think that there is no replacement of these lines in English!
ranjish hi sahi dil hi dukhane ke liye aa,
aa phir se muhhe chhod ke jaane ke liye aa
Mana ki muhaabat ka chhipana hai muhaabat
par chupke se kisi roj,jatane ke liye aa!
while writing I decided to take a short sleep, but eventually it has become one of the longest sleep, I slept at 8:00 pm and wake up at 2:00 am. And I regret of not having dinner! But I have to remain like this! I can't expect anything to eat at this time! Anyways, I want to talk about the sleep! It was nice! And from 8:00 pm to 2:00 am I feel like living in some place, totally unknown. I can talk about dreams but I will not this time! I am to talk about something else. Its a great feeling to have good intension. I never felt like this much good! Thank you god! For the outer world it might not be the best time I am having but internally I know that nothing can be better than this, and I hope it to be remain like this forever!
Earlier tonight, that is before my untimely sleep I was thinking about love! And I slept just after that, when I wake up, again the untimely act, I am feeling great, I don't know what is it? But I am feeling really great!!
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