Fighters

The chance of me getting out on 99 is very very low, why? Am I so confident, I don't get nervous in situations like this or what? ha ha, because I'll never ever reach near 99 :) It takes lots of effort to make 99 runs, and that last one run, that is a marking point, why so? Why we get disappointed if we couldn't make the last one run, instead of celebrating 99 runs, we get deserted! Why so? I think those 99 runs are more important, if I can make them। I'll be happy for 99 runs! but that too is really really tough! another way to see this situation is that the journey is also important not just the destination, if we can make our journey beautiful, we may never regret for not reaching the destination, I am not saying that there is no importance of reaching the destination, but what if we couldn't reach destination? This is when we think about journey, if the journey is worth something we can have a sense of achievement. There is a say in hindi, my cousin used to te...

Four years have passed like four days. I still remember the first day of college. I was very scared of ragging and seniors. Though I was convinced that I will handle all that, but even then I had a little fear with lots of joy. And I met a senior just few minutes after I entered the college. The devil was looking at me, I tried to avoid him, gathered courage and tried to pass him, but had to stop. I looked at him, he looked at me. I was not aware of some eye culture here. The next half an hour I was with among four others of my class, one girl and three of us and the senior, he seemed to be a music lover, he wanted us to sing song for him. I knew if I sing something will happen. I sang so loudly that teachers from classes by side came there and scolded that senior. That was the first day of college and today is the last day of college. I had nothing with me on that day and today I am an engineer, with lots of dreams, lots of ideas and of course an engineering degree and a joining lett...

I spent many nights in college computer lab alone, only me in computer lab at night. From 12:30 pm in day to 8:30 am in morning of next day. I have been in lab many times like this. The toughest part of this is when everbody else in lab leaves at 5:00 pm in evening and ask if I too want to leave. when I realize of that question and want to answer that I looked at watch and its 12:30 am, it took me 7 hours to answer that question and felt like just one minute. For few seconds I felt hungry, but at this time in area where my college is I can't dream of anything to eat, the other moment, I was again in computer. I looked back at watch, its 2:10 am, time flies. I realize this. But I wonder I didn't feel sleepy at all. Its 2:10 am in morning, its strange. At 7:30 am in morning Guard sahab of computer lab came. He looked at me, asked me why I've came so early. I said I was here from yesterday morning.

Looking at myself, sitting in classroom, I am the most stupid person I think, instead of looking at what she is teaching I am writing this thing, who can be a stupid than me. Things are not normal that's for sure, heating up. I am learning , as much I try to keep myself away from things or situations as much I find myself indulged in them simply unintentionally. And I find that older people behave more like a child. I can simply visualize this these days. The situation I was in for last 11 days , I never want to be in. In those 11 days I had food for 4 times, walked 30 miles, had almost 20 litres of cold-drinks or juice, watched two movies in theatre, attended 24 long lectures from terrible teachers, didn't listen a single ghazal of any sort, didn't checked my mail for one week, I was fined 1000 bucks by HOD for not being in uniform, I was awake for 48 hours continuously, had bath 7 times.

Among uncertainty and unknown dangers to me I continue to work, working because I think I want something, though I really don't know what I want. For me life came in different phases, as I recalled I can divide it in three phases and I am obviously in the third phase of my life. And actually the third phase is just a product of the earlier two phases, everything I am into is related to something to my previous phases be it any good thing or bad thing. I am certainly visualizing things more clearly than ever before. At my age I know many people have done wonders and really I am late, but as I know things has changed certainly after the second stage. Sometimes I think I am sick of doing things my way, here is a list of things that I do exactly opposite to what others may do. I love old songs, Ghazals and Sufi Qawallis contrast of what people at my stage may listen. I love to wake up early in the morning when every body in hostel is into dreams I love to go up stairs, I love going col...

I have a little cousin almost 18 years younger than me. I am at home these days, so I am spending more time around him, yesterday was his first day of school, I was sleeping when in morning he came to my place, wearing his brand new blue colored school uniform which he was showcasing from last one week, wearing his school bag at his back, black shoes of course brand new, he was extra excited on his first day of school, seeing him I flied back to flash back I recalled my first day at school, I was crying all the time, I was sitting on papa's shoulders crying all time, papa was trying to convince that I will have a great time, I am still wondering what made me enter the bus but just after a few minutes of entering I realized that I had made a huge mistake by entering this thing which looked to me as if I am in some other planet with aliens all over wearing the same thing which I am wearing and making noise like I do so I decided to use my 'Brahmasthra' and in a few minutes I...

The only thing that troubles me these days is the situation that just carve in no time! Sometimes I think I will not do such thing once more, but I happen to practice the same thing more often. I hate myself for that! And after that I feel guilty again I know for no reasons and then after some time I get normal! The problem is that all these things distract me from what I was into and it then take me a long time to again get into that frame of mind! And the cycle repeats again and again! I decide not to do something than situation become such that I have to do that, then I feel guilty and then get normal! And so on! My whole life revolves in this cycle! And I am here to write something that made me feel very low. I am wondering if I could ever write something happy I always write something very much sad, isn't it so, I guess it is so, I was traveling in bus from home to Bikaner, yesterday I was wondering if I could get a good company, you know what i mean by good company ;) the wa...

Happy! Are you happy? Hey I am confused more than happy? Why I am confused? I was thinking about my future, I know its worthless to think much about future but I want to decide about my future! I am at home for holidays and as usual I am doing nothing! This is a thing I hate! To be at home and doing nothing! But I can't help that for no reason. I was talking with my mummy papa about my future, and as they think about my future is that I may get a job of 20-30 thousand bucks or may 40-50 thousand at most! Is that true? Mummy asked me! I said no comments on that, and papa was telling about our businesses and all that! So getting a job of 20-30 thousand bucks and that also some thousand miles away from home, working almost 20+ hrs like bulls in any software company! Why? Situation is like this? Mummy asked me, just for fun , if I could earn more than what my papa have? I couldn't answer that! So I was all busy searching for this question and happened to switch on television and a ...

ignorance makes us curious, thats true; and when experienced that I now believe it. I don't know why I do things for which i regret later, may be because it gives me momently pleasure, and makes me feel good! i am examining myself very closely these days and found that one thing i need to change in myself is the way i handle myself, really i handle my self as worlds most useless guy. this is me! the need of the hour is to believe in myself! and thats what i am trying to learning! one thing is troubling me all the time that why do we try to disguise from ourself while we know everything about ourself then why pretending to be unaware of the cause of ourself being in the situation! and why do we try to do another thing to cover previous thing and it thus lead us to situation where we find ourself hiding over millions of covers. One more thing i was thinking about is even after 21 years i don't know myself thats simply disgusting! gosh! i don't know myself , i don't know w...

We have been talking lot about girls these days, it looks like i am going to write down about them here also. it is very unusual for me to write about girls, but its i think the right time to write about that, as lots of things happening outside that is making me more and more curious about girls :) its one of my friend and me who were talking about true love today, and his opinion was that " true love is one in which one only think about the other" his point was even if one has to ruin his life for that! I may have agreed to the point , I was arguing that it is true only when you think like that even if you were "Shah rukh Khan" or "Sachin Tendulkar" and only when i could have believed that, but when you don't have anything to loose but nothing, these words are useless! My point is that one who has something to sacrifice should talk about it, others just making us!! so we were talking about love, girl, sacrifice and all that heavy stuff! things that...