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Why I am stranger to myself ?

ignorance makes us curious, thats true; and when experienced that I now believe it. I don't know why I do things for which i regret later, may be because it gives me momently pleasure, and makes me feel good! i am examining myself very closely these days and found that one thing i need to change in myself is the way i handle myself, really i handle my self as worlds most useless guy. this is me! the need of the hour is to believe in myself! and thats what i am trying to learning! one thing is troubling me all the time that why do we try to disguise from ourself while we know everything about ourself then why pretending to be unaware of the cause of ourself being in the situation! and why do we try to do another thing to cover previous thing and it thus lead us to situation where we find ourself hiding over millions of covers. One more thing i was thinking about is even after 21 years i don't know myself thats simply disgusting! gosh! i don't know myself , i don't know whats good for me, and what's bad for, what my body need, what my soul need! thats really very very strange, after spending so much time with myself i should have known myself much better, but indeed i am a stranger to myself! i wish i could know myself better, i could understand what i need! this is i think is the best thing to do and is good as soon as possible!

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इस दस्त में इक शहर था वो क्या हुआ?

I am listening to a very very beautiful ghazal by Ghulam ali, and I want to dedicate this post to this ghazal। The ghazal starts with a 'sher' which goes like, अपनी आवाज़ की लर्जिश पे तो काबू पा लो, प्यार के बोल तो होठों से निकल आते है, अपने तेवर तो सम्भालों की कोई ये न कहे दिल बदलते है तो चेहरे भी बदल जाते है। I don't remember how many times i have listened this ghazal but still each time i listen to this, it gives me a new meaning. This is the beauty of ghazals, you can get a new meaning every time you listen. ये दिल ये पागल दिल मेरा क्यूँ बुझ गया, आवारगी, इस दस्त में इक शहर था वो क्या हुआ, आवारगी! The english translation is impossible, attempting that will be like killing the ghazal। What I could understand from this line is "what had happened to me", इक अजनबी झोंके ने जब पूछा जब मेरे ग़म का शबब सेहरा की भीगी रेत पे मैंने लिखा, आवारगी। Then ghulam ali sahab takes us to some other place by just his voice, amazing. ये दर्द की तन्हाईयाँ, ये दस्त का वीरान सफर, हम ल...

Thank you!

It is going to be a very quick post, I am in a hurry but still want to write this post, certainly lots of things are going on in my life but I am not writing anything about them these days anywhere, I will soon start writing about them in my blogs, for now I am here to share something that is nothing, seriously! Don't know how to write nothing, so writing something that visualize nothing! :D Lets write something! I am here to say thanks to few people! who influenced my life in a very positive manner, I don't get influenced very easily.Thank you very much! I am not writing their names here, but I am saying thanks from the deep of my heart! Thanks again

आख़िर तमन्ना ही तो है!

तमन्ना का क्या है? आख़िर तमन्ना ही तो है! न ख्वाब है, न हकीकत है! तमन्ना तो बस तमन्ना है। जो सच नही वो ख्वाब है, जो सच है वो हकीकत है। जो ख्वाब हो कर भी हकीकत लगे, वो तमन्ना है शायद। खुली आंखों से जो दिखे, वो हकीकत है, जो बंद आंखों से दिखे वो ख्वाब है, जो दोनों से दिखे वो तमन्ना है शायद। सोच कर ही जिसके बारे में, आह निकले वो है तमन्ना! ख्वाब है न हकीकत है, तमन्ना तो बस तमन्ना है! ख्वाब तो फिर भी पूरे हो जाते है तमन्ना तो बस तमन्ना रहती है! पूरी हो जाए जो तमन्ना वो तमन्ना नहीं ख्वाब था। न ख्वाब है न हकीकत है, तमन्ना तो बस तमन्ना है। हर पल एक नई तमन्ना है, हर पल पुरानी को भूलना है। आख़िर तमन्ना ही तो है!