Among uncertainty and unknown dangers to me I continue to work, working because I think I want something, though I really don't know what I want. For me life came in different phases, as I recalled I can divide it in three phases and I am obviously in the third phase of my life. And actually the third phase is just a product of the earlier two phases, everything I am into is related to something to my previous phases be it any good thing or bad thing. I am certainly visualizing things more clearly than ever before. At my age I know many people have done wonders and really I am late, but as I know things has changed certainly after the second stage. Sometimes I think I am sick of doing things my way, here is a list of things that I do exactly opposite to what others may do. I love old songs, Ghazals and Sufi Qawallis contrast of what people at my stage may listen. I love to wake up early in the morning when every body in hostel is into dreams I love to go up stairs, I love going college everyday while most of colleagues hate that most, I love to work for college and many people say I am idiot, I love Osho while most people don't understand him, I love Open source while people around me say what's wrong with Microsoft, I hate laptop and love pc thats again an odd thing, I may take many more things in this list, but thats not my concern , the fact is I don't understand why I am so? Is that a sort of disease to take a different path in everything I am not saying this thing as good or bad, just making a point that may be it's just me or may be I am sick. And really I can't help that. Now I think I have written many things about myself and now I want to write something about someone else, and I got stuck, whom to write about? When I try to find out one person I can write about other than my family or my relatives I got stuck, no body I can write about, I was reading a book by Chetan Bhagat , 3 mistakes of my life' and I really am thinking why I read that I had better seen any bollywood movie, he put everything in it, that could be a bollywood movie. Anyways I read that book and I am mentioning it here because I think that life is much more than those 3 mistakes, and every day i make 10s of mistakes and I still wonder why I haven't wrote a book yet, like 1000 mistakes of my ¼ th life since I am still in early 20s and I can't say these mistakes as mistakes of my life I know I will make thousands of more such mistakes.
I am listening to a very very beautiful ghazal by Ghulam ali, and I want to dedicate this post to this ghazal। The ghazal starts with a 'sher' which goes like, अपनी आवाज़ की लर्जिश पे तो काबू पा लो, प्यार के बोल तो होठों से निकल आते है, अपने तेवर तो सम्भालों की कोई ये न कहे दिल बदलते है तो चेहरे भी बदल जाते है। I don't remember how many times i have listened this ghazal but still each time i listen to this, it gives me a new meaning. This is the beauty of ghazals, you can get a new meaning every time you listen. ये दिल ये पागल दिल मेरा क्यूँ बुझ गया, आवारगी, इस दस्त में इक शहर था वो क्या हुआ, आवारगी! The english translation is impossible, attempting that will be like killing the ghazal। What I could understand from this line is "what had happened to me", इक अजनबी झोंके ने जब पूछा जब मेरे ग़म का शबब सेहरा की भीगी रेत पे मैंने लिखा, आवारगी। Then ghulam ali sahab takes us to some other place by just his voice, amazing. ये दर्द की तन्हाईयाँ, ये दस्त का वीरान सफर, हम ल...
Comments
I dont normally comment on the posts but here I am writing on your post...
See first of all try to have a reasoning in what you do and why that has appealed you so much and if you can justify that with your knowledge of morals and ethics, you should worry none, and may be then you will have a clearer view of things around you. We do a numerous things which are actually good irrespective of what people say about them. For example, There are many of us young guys who like getting up early morning as its filled of so much of life and energy.. Compare the sun rise with the sun set.. the birds, trees, wind everything is so live refreshing and full of energy at the sun rise.. so people who miss that are actually missing something they dont even know.... You like reading Osho and so do so many other young guys(including me) as to me he talks sense and his sayings are full of logic and reasoning. At the same time you like a pc over a laptop. Most People like a laptop because of its convenience and mobility, am sure that if you have a job which keeps you on tour you may even start liking a laptop.
We are very same at the same time very very different individually and there is nothing wrong in it and that is the source of universal existance. From my point of view, if something is logically justified and makes sense to us ethically and morally it should be followed regardless of what people talk... Those guys who pretend that they are like the "lot" am sure deep down in their heart find something which surprises them which is pretty unique as that is how nature has made us...
hmmm i dont know how to start,but.. here goes
well i read ur post and i felt like i was reading my own post from another parallel universe( this doesnt mean i am different from u).
Well i am different(from others around me) too ...i feel so. i love to do stuff which others think are geeky/weird , but to me its like the most awesomely thing i could do.
i read more non-fiction than fiction. i love to read philosophy & spiritual & meaningful stuff , i dress up like a nut(alwasy wearing slacky and shabby formals )when i go to college . I am probably the guy in my class who is lost in my own world all the time my closest 2 friends always tell me that i keep day-dreaming all the time. but who cares!well i do care 'sometimes' .... but its always for very short spasms of time.
i score amazingly high marks in my exams,but i don't put too much of an effort into studies(please don't think i am bragging, i am just being frank).others think i am a nerd and keep slogging textbooks all night at home, mmm well i don't .i study much less than the lowest scorer of my class,its just that i study "smartly" rather than "hard". Sometimes these sort of things just happen to you, sometimes things that are spectacular to others may seem just regular to you.
i couldn't help but feel a small amount of sadness/or/pain in ur words. Its okay take it easy(yea right! they all say that ....lol.. well its hard but at least try to).
well i am glad u like osho , that shows you are open to different views about life .
well i must tell u that i too feel like i make at lease 10 mistakes every day.
but let me tell u one thing.
"its all in ur head!"
now u must be thinking, "wow, thank u jerk! i just wasted time reading ur comment!"
hmmm...its because 'YOU DO NOT think u wasted time'... (hmm.... paradox????)
well i wont tell u the answer to that riddle.
but i am gonna ask u to read a book/ebook(or listen the a audiobook if preferable)
and that is "the power of NOW! - by - Eckart tolle" hmmm u think this is some kind of mambo-jumbo self-help book...its not trust me ... i would never read such a book either.
this book is gonna have more impact on u than Osho.(byt he way i started with Osho too...just loved him). Eckhart tolle is a spiritual teacher(with a difference). i would like u read the book at least the first chapter if u dint like it u could hunt me down with an arrow.
just the first chapter .. get an ebook and read the first chapter ...just one chapter .i insist!
and if u can please mail me about it . byeee
u can mail me at
macparkinson@gmail.com