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the fear of failure

When i was younger i feared of dark, but suddenly i didn't. And now it happens that many a times i love to be in dark, away of all the thoughts, all the human beings and anything else. And i am in a very strange things these days, I don't know what it is, i am in a fear of failure, and at home this fear grows at an accelerated pace. At home I don't know if i could ever do anything but thinking of failure. And I am into a depression these days, i made a something, which i thought is quite good but on that i got few bad comments and i had done nothing from that day, not even my project for which i invested three months to get approved! I have no regret for that, it's good that somebody dislikes it that strongly.

Don't want to talk about that any more, but the fear of failure. I am into that all these times. Thats like a nightmare! And i don't know if it is related to this or what. I am having a series of dreams, that has really shocked me, the first dream was that i am struggling with hundreds dogs, trying to throw all of them out of my home, the second dream was that a scorpion has stung me and still i am smiling, the third dream was that i am lying ill on the bed and reading some medical reports, the fourth dream was that my mother is buying a cloth that women put in our community when someone dies. And thats it! I think that thats a message from some where or may be just the fear of failure that is creating nightmares for me. I don't fear of dying. But i do fear of failure, and thats to a great extent, i wish i could overcome that as soon as possible.

What the hell I am doing it this the thing i should regret or what i am not sure i am writing this here its meaningless to write this here, thank god i am not writing anything else but just this otherwise i can write something that can rock everybody but then i think that few things are better kept untold. So now i am getting a little more normal. Now i can write something else, while writing I remembered somebody, since i am sick person, it take me long to really realize that something is happening with me, really long and now when i realized, i find that i am little late for that when it was the high time i didn't took a look at that but when now i want , it is too late! I am listening to a ghazal “ jawab jinke nahi hote wo sawal hote hai, jo dekhne main kuch khaas nahi la jawab hote hai”
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