Fighters

Even though we have man-woman ratio in Rajasthan very unbalanced, we too love girl child like any other place in India. Here in Rajasthan, we have a different structure of families. We have huge families, living all together, living all near each other, almost every relative lives in same village. Child in such a family gets love from so many people, exactly what a child want. And many times it happens that child get attached to some other person even more than her parents. This is a very unique thing, and this is the beauty of Rajasthan. And there is one very different thing which happens, since the families are really huge, when child grows up, she sees her cousins calling her parents as 'kaka' , 'kaki' words used for uncle aunt, the child too calls her mummy papa as 'kaki' and 'kaka'. And this happens everywhere here. There is one such a little girl 'Sangeeta' almost 5 year old, who loves her chacha more than her parents. And Chacha also loves...

Two poems I wrote a couple of years ago, when I was preparing for IIT JEE, and things were really tough all around. I wrote this poem two days before Diwali, I don't know why I wrote this , but after writing this i realize that Diwali here resembles hope for life, light and happiness. दिवाली तू लेकर आ,फिर जीने की चाह रोक मुझे अनजाने पथ से, सारा जीवन तुझ पर निर्भर मृत्यु पथ पर तू एक सुंदर बाधा, फिर एक चाह बनी है शायद चिंगारी कोई दिखी है शायद, शायद मुझे रोक सके तू शायद मुझे रोप सके तू, मैं एक टूटी शाख लगाये हुए हूँ तुझसे आश, मेरे मन की ज्वाला दिवाली समेट सके तू आज सिर पर लिए एक बोझा जा रहा हूँ दिवाली तू रोक सके मुझे अनजाने पथ से सारा जीवन तुझ पर निर्भर मृत्यु पथ पर तू एक सुंदर बाधा। जीवन के इस पड़ाव पर हूँ शायद मैं नितांत अकेला चाह रहा हूँ तेरा साथ, चाह रहा मैं उस अनजान की यात्रा दे सके तू मेरा साथ, जब था मैं एक शोला, लोगों ने मुझे सराहा जब आज मैं शीतल हुआ, लोगों ने मुझे दुत्कारा चाह रहा एक रोशनी, चाह रहा मैं तेरा साथ, दीवाली तू लेकर आ फिर जीने की चाह दिन गुजरे माह बीते बदला जीवन का ...

When i was younger i feared of dark, but suddenly i didn't. And now it happens that many a times i love to be in dark, away of all the thoughts, all the human beings and anything else. And i am in a very strange things these days, I don't know what it is, i am in a fear of failure, and at home this fear grows at an accelerated pace. At home I don't know if i could ever do anything but thinking of failure. And I am into a depression these days, i made a something, which i thought is quite good but on that i got few bad comments and i had done nothing from that day, not even my project for which i invested three months to get approved! I have no regret for that, it's good that somebody dislikes it that strongly. Don't want to talk about that any more, but the fear of failure. I am into that all these times. Thats like a nightmare! And i don't know if it is related to this or what. I am having a series of dreams, that has really shocked me, the first dream was that...

Among uncertainty and unknown dangers to me I continue to work, working because I think I want something, though I really don't know what I want. For me life came in different phases, as I recalled I can divide it in three phases and I am obviously in the third phase of my life. And actually the third phase is just a product of the earlier two phases, everything I am into is related to something to my previous phases be it any good thing or bad thing. I am certainly visualizing things more clearly than ever before. At my age I know many people have done wonders and really I am late, but as I know things has changed certainly after the second stage. Sometimes I think I am sick of doing things my way, here is a list of things that I do exactly opposite to what others may do. I love old songs, Ghazals and Sufi Qawallis contrast of what people at my stage may listen. I love to wake up early in the morning when every body in hostel is into dreams I love to go up stairs, I love going col...

I have a little cousin almost 18 years younger than me. I am at home these days, so I am spending more time around him, yesterday was his first day of school, I was sleeping when in morning he came to my place, wearing his brand new blue colored school uniform which he was showcasing from last one week, wearing his school bag at his back, black shoes of course brand new, he was extra excited on his first day of school, seeing him I flied back to flash back I recalled my first day at school, I was crying all the time, I was sitting on papa's shoulders crying all time, papa was trying to convince that I will have a great time, I am still wondering what made me enter the bus but just after a few minutes of entering I realized that I had made a huge mistake by entering this thing which looked to me as if I am in some other planet with aliens all over wearing the same thing which I am wearing and making noise like I do so I decided to use my 'Brahmasthra' and in a few minutes I...