Fighters

Its been so long I got this much time to write a blog post! Finally I am writing a blog post! I am quite excited. Last few months have been real eventful. When I was a child, I always wanted to be the busiest person in the world. I loved to visit my papa's office, sitting on their chair would gave real pleasure. I had a lots of lots of desires. I dont know where have they all disappered. At the moment, what i desire is to let my all desires come to me, so that I can live them up. I have become neutral to outside world, and not only others me myself also feel this. I don't remember when last time I had a fight. I think fighting is a must, if you are not fighting it means something is surely missing! When we fight with outer world fight inside get stopped. So, I want to fight! I want to quarrel, I want to let my self free. There is one thing happening these days that I started thinking not too much, let the things happen. and I dont really read too much! and I feel to say somethi...

कागज़ के फूलों में अब वो खुशबू न रही ये फूल कभी मुरझाते नही लगता है खिले है अभी देख के इनको सोचते रहे हम, वक्त है अभी बहुत, उड़ गई खुशबू तब पता चला हो गई देर बहुत!

मेरी टीचर मेनू कहन्दी है आंदा नही मेनू कुछ भी पापा मेनू कहंदे है तू मेरा नाम दुबायेगा ,मेरी अम्मा मेनू कहेंदी है एक सोनी कुडी मेनू मिलेगी मेरे यार कहेंदे है तू मुंडा कमाल है। मेरे पहले टेस्ट की तेयारी की मैंने ऐसे सारे सुब्जेक्ट्स के नाम मेनू अब है याद। अचानक आया मुझे ये ख्याल छोडू ये सब बातें, सुनो ये कहानी नई रात को जब में हॉस्टल की छत पर बैठा था, देख रहा था मैं कॉलेज को पता नही क्यूँ आँख मैं मेरे आँसू आ गए , मैंने देखा ख़ुद को रोते मुझे लगा कुछ अलग सा I love my college very much दिन भर कॉलेज मैं फिरता हूँ शाम होती है तो सोचता हूँ शाम क्यूँ हुई अब मैं सोचता हूँ उन दिनों के बारें में, सब कुछ इतना जल्दी जल्दी हो रहा है की क्या बताऊँ जैसे कल की हो ये बात अब तो रोंदा हूँ मैं पर पता नही क्यूँ , न समझेगी वो, न समझूंगा मैं कभी, इधर भी वो उधर भी वो every where it is she! मेरे जानने से या न जानने से क्या होगा, जानता हूँ मैं पर वो नही जानती, इतने दिंनों से पता नही क्या कहूं पर जब भी देखता हूँ तुझे लगता है जैसे धड़कन रुक सी गई, जानता हूँ मैं बर्बाद हूँ इंसान, पर पता नही क्यूँ सोचता हूँ मैं ऐस...

Four years have passed like four days. I still remember the first day of college. I was very scared of ragging and seniors. Though I was convinced that I will handle all that, but even then I had a little fear with lots of joy. And I met a senior just few minutes after I entered the college. The devil was looking at me, I tried to avoid him, gathered courage and tried to pass him, but had to stop. I looked at him, he looked at me. I was not aware of some eye culture here. The next half an hour I was with among four others of my class, one girl and three of us and the senior, he seemed to be a music lover, he wanted us to sing song for him. I knew if I sing something will happen. I sang so loudly that teachers from classes by side came there and scolded that senior. That was the first day of college and today is the last day of college. I had nothing with me on that day and today I am an engineer, with lots of dreams, lots of ideas and of course an engineering degree and a joining lett...

I spent many nights in college computer lab alone, only me in computer lab at night. From 12:30 pm in day to 8:30 am in morning of next day. I have been in lab many times like this. The toughest part of this is when everbody else in lab leaves at 5:00 pm in evening and ask if I too want to leave. when I realize of that question and want to answer that I looked at watch and its 12:30 am, it took me 7 hours to answer that question and felt like just one minute. For few seconds I felt hungry, but at this time in area where my college is I can't dream of anything to eat, the other moment, I was again in computer. I looked back at watch, its 2:10 am, time flies. I realize this. But I wonder I didn't feel sleepy at all. Its 2:10 am in morning, its strange. At 7:30 am in morning Guard sahab of computer lab came. He looked at me, asked me why I've came so early. I said I was here from yesterday morning.

Looking at myself, sitting in classroom, I am the most stupid person I think, instead of looking at what she is teaching I am writing this thing, who can be a stupid than me. Things are not normal that's for sure, heating up. I am learning , as much I try to keep myself away from things or situations as much I find myself indulged in them simply unintentionally. And I find that older people behave more like a child. I can simply visualize this these days. The situation I was in for last 11 days , I never want to be in. In those 11 days I had food for 4 times, walked 30 miles, had almost 20 litres of cold-drinks or juice, watched two movies in theatre, attended 24 long lectures from terrible teachers, didn't listen a single ghazal of any sort, didn't checked my mail for one week, I was fined 1000 bucks by HOD for not being in uniform, I was awake for 48 hours continuously, had bath 7 times.

Even though we have man-woman ratio in Rajasthan very unbalanced, we too love girl child like any other place in India. Here in Rajasthan, we have a different structure of families. We have huge families, living all together, living all near each other, almost every relative lives in same village. Child in such a family gets love from so many people, exactly what a child want. And many times it happens that child get attached to some other person even more than her parents. This is a very unique thing, and this is the beauty of Rajasthan. And there is one very different thing which happens, since the families are really huge, when child grows up, she sees her cousins calling her parents as 'kaka' , 'kaki' words used for uncle aunt, the child too calls her mummy papa as 'kaki' and 'kaka'. And this happens everywhere here. There is one such a little girl 'Sangeeta' almost 5 year old, who loves her chacha more than her parents. And Chacha also loves...